For those with short attention spans you can just read the bolded words and get an idea of what toiletscribble is all about.

What is toilet scribble? Well, have you ever gone into a bathroom at a local bar, and by local I mean local to you not me….unless you live near me which would make it local to both of us, but anyway you go into a local bar’s bathroom and sit down to do your business and in front of you there is a hand drawn graffiti picture of a giant penis? And all around the penis are phrases like ‘blow me’ or ‘for a good time call your mom’? Well, I have actually wondered (out loud even) what the equivalent toilet scribble would be in a woman’s bathroom.You see, I am a man so I do not go into women’s bathrooms unless asked or unless I am at a woman’s house in which case I would have to use a woman’s bathroom or i would just have to hold it till I got home and that would not make for any fun. It could also lead to medical issues if that happened too often. But anyway, I have always wondered, in a local bar what would a woman see when she sat down to do her business? Would it be a huge drawing of a vagina with phrases all around it like ‘for a good time call your dad’ and ‘eat me’? Or would it be that same huge penis that I see in the men’s room?

So what is toilet scribble? I have no freaking idea what it is….. in a women’s bathroom.

And that is the quest I am on here. This is a journal that will chronicle my journey into the completely moronic and sophomoric parts of my extremely small, uneducated, and underdeveloped brain. I take no responsibility for my actions or for yours. This is not a legal disclaimer nor is it a pledge. It is not well thought out nor handwritten yet it is legible and I hope it’s entertaining and funny. If it is not legible you may have computer problems that I did not cause but can fix, yet I will not, unless you ask nicely at which point I still will not but I will be friends with you.

I will encourage feedback but not require it nor will I read it or digest it. I will take criticism but I will complain about it and then do nothing to remedy it. I will properly punctuate where pertinent but not always precisely, which some people will pontificate profoundly upon….perhaps even posthumously (I see dead people) I presume. I promise to never use more than 6 words beginning with the letter P again….probably….but probably not.

I will not be taking requests nor will I request anything of you. You will not be forced to take a red pill or a blue pill. I will not quote or make reference to any movies or books. I will strive to endeavor, yearn to be free and will always give thanks to the God of your choice and/or denounce the God(s) you do not choose or by default all God(s) if you are atheist. I will not speak of religion or sex unless coaxed with booze and pills. I will end here but we are just beginning.Trust me….forget this web address and never return.