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Rants and Raves

• 06.06.08
  Nearly Killed by Noxious Fumes Rants and Raves | View Comments

  On the subway to work this morning myself and about 20 other people were nearly killed. Nobody had a gun. There were no bomb scares. A homeless man did not run around the car with a knife threatening anyone. No, this was far worse than any of those things. Today I was nearly killed by a fart. Actually it was a series of farts. We were all minding our own business. One woman was sleeping softly. Two men were reading their Financial Times (Fucking Douche Bags). I was listening to my ipod while playing solitaire. It was just another day on ...
• 06.03.08
  Dear Anti-Smokers: Fuck You Rants and Raves | View Comments

  Let me preface this post with the fact that smoking is bad for you. I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. It is a filthy habit that makes your breath stink and your teeth yellow and you are going to die early if you make a habit of it. So today cigarette prices in New York State are going up by $1.25 per pack. That brings the average price of a pack of smokes in New York City to $8.00. Eight fucking dollars! A full $2.75 of that eight dollars is state tax and annually the state of New ...
• 05.20.08
  The $175 Burger Rants and Raves | View Comments

  So I caught a glimpse of someone's NY Post today and on the front page was a headline that simply read "The $175 Burger". This is absolutely fucking ridiculous. It is ridiculous that someone created this thing but even more so that people would pay for it. It's a fucking hamburger. I don't care if they chop up 100 dollar bills in the lettuce or if they put real gold in the secret sauce....it's fucking stupid. With people worried about layoffs, the economy, the mortgage crisis, the price of oil, etc there are still assholes with money spending it on fucking ...
• 05.16.08
  McCain Reaches Out to the Blogosphere Rants and Raves | View Comments

  I love politics but I don't love writing about it. It isn't funny....it's depressing. But today a headline caught my eye and I felt compelled to scribble something down. Apparently John McCain reached out today to the blogosphere. Sen. John McCain's presidential campaign is trying to tap a new audience of potential voters by taking his campaign message straight to liberal and nonpolitical issues-based blogs, which reach millions of readers but don't often delve into conservative politics. "The plan is to take the work we've already built on with conservative bloggers and to open up a dialogue with non-conservative bloggers and even ...
• 05.15.08
  The Sneaker Challenge Ask Fitz, Rants and Raves, emails | View Comments

  So today I got an email regarding my post entitled "This is the BEST Blog Ever". Not only did the author of this email challenge my assertion that toiletscribble.com is the best blog on the internet, they issued what I will call a 'funny challenge'. Here is what they said: Fritz, You seem like a fairly funny guy and you are probably very funny in your circle of friends. But the internet is pretty dam big and I can promise you that you are no where near the funniest guys on the internet. I will challenge you to make a post ...
• 05.15.08
  Screw the Polar Bear Bottom Tens, Rants and Raves, Video Rant, videos | View Comments

  I do not know why Global Warming, and the lunacy that Global Warming has created, gets to me so much but it really does. I used to get pissed off maybe once a month about it. Then it became once a week and lately it is almost hourly that I am assaulted with Global Warming madness to the point where I want to punch someone in the stomach. The latest thing to make me shit my pants yelling is the commercial that describes the plight of the polar bear and asks us to give $16 dollars a month to help save ...
• 05.14.08
  PETA, Vegans and Cabbage Bras Rants and Raves | View Comments

  One of my most loyal of readers pointed me to this article today. Apparently two dumb blondes gave out tofu burgers and free gasoline at a gas station in Connecticut. Why? “Because going vegan is the single most effective action they can take,” Byrne said, standing on the corner of Capitol Avenue and Broad Street in Hartford wearing nothing more than strategically placed lettuce leaves. Oh brother! Why must I be assaulted daily by people in the GREEN movement and people from PETA? It makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit every time I hear someone mention the word ...
• 05.14.08
  Stop Letting Idiots Off the Hook Rants and Raves, Video Rant, videos | View Comments

  I am like the annoying little kid in the movie 'The Sixth Sense'. The main difference is that where he saw dead people I see stupid people. They haunt me daily and it really gets to me. But today as I was witnessing some really intense stupidity I wondered 'Why do I let people get away with doing stupid things'. Does it not make more sense to scold stupid people so that they will learn to not be stupid? How  greivous does an act of stupidity have to be in order for you to actually confront someone and try to correct ...
• 05.09.08
  Drunken Videos….Not a Good Idea Rants and Raves | View Comments

  I am not sure why I took the video camera out last night or why I am posting the results. But here you go.....me drunk.
• 05.08.08
  How to NOT be a Douche Bag PART 5: Elevator Calls Rants and Raves, Video Rant, videos | View Comments

  This is a behavior that a lot of people do daily and it pisses me the hell off. It is not limited to just douche bags but anyone doing this is a douche bag in my opinion. When you are on an elevator do NOT make a call that you know is going to get cut off. Don't answer the phone either just to tell the person on the other end "Hey can I call you back I'm on an elevator?". Douche bag!

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