Pictures, Toilet Graffiti

Your Mom Jokes in the Toilet

Your Mom is Large

I did some research (lol yeah I’m a researcher…right) and found out that
while the ostrich is often credited with laying the largest eggs, the largest egg in the world was actually laid by a shark, the whale shark. The egg, 14 inches (36 cm) long, was found in the Gulf of Mexico in 1953.

Meanwhile, I also found that your mother is indeed the largest woman in the world but is actually not laid at all. Just want to keep the facts straight since this blog is a quest for the truth.

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  • Nathan

    Interesting… you think you’re humorous, but I was basically just left dumbfounded by your failed attempt at such. Har. Har.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Nathan,

    It’s a picture. I didn’t draw the shark. But your Mom is quite large is she not?

  • Josh

    Disregard what Nathan says, he’s just in a perpetually bad mood because he doesn’t do your mom as much as everyone else gets to. :D

    BTW – Since I’m already breaking the rule of not commenting while naked, I’m going to screw the rest of them. Curse your rules: I feel it is my doodie to sit on the toilet naked while stumbling onto a blog entitled “Toilet Scribble”

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Josh,

    Rock on brother. Do your doodie and keep reading!

  • Tim

    This is far from funny.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Tim,

    How close was it? Far is such a relative term. Could you perhaps give me a distance in feet or yards or even miles? It would be most beneficial.

  • Conn

    Timmy,
    You’re not a very good researcher! Whale sharks are viviparous. They’re born live, just like you and me. A 14 inch egg was found in the Gulf of Mexico in ’53, but whatever it’s from, it wasn’t a whale shark.

    So, in other words, your facts are straight in the same way you dad is straight. Not at all.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Who is TIMMY? And who cares if his dad is gay???

    That picture is a picture of a PRIDE SHARK!

  • The Largest Woman in the World

    doh!
    Sharks give live birth….

  • Anon

    ROFL OMFG PHOTOSHOPPED!!!!!!!!11!!12@223 SO OBVIOUS LMFAOAOAOAOAO

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    ANON,

    Was it the reflections that gave it away?

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    The Largest Woman in the World,

    Actually most of them adopt but yes you are correct.

  • Kyle

    Fact: Sharks don’t lay eggs.

    Double fact: A whale shark is actually a fish. It lays eggs.

  • Greg

    Actually sharks lay egg-cases. Fact. Oh, and anyone that doesn’t see the humor in mom jokes needs to pull the stick out. Mom jokes will always be funny.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Kyle,

    Is your mom a fish or a whale?

    Greg,

    Your Mom!! lol (do you ever say “lol” out loud? I do)

  • http://www.rantshack.org DarkSteele

    *bashes the sort-of-funny (and possibly inaccurate?) toilet scribble, prepares to be lashed out at by “fitz” with a sarcastic jibe (most likely in reference to my immediate family)*

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    DarkSteele,

    Anyone who comments here is a friend. If I bash it means I love. Tell your mother I said “The Eagle has flown to the city”. She’ll know what I’m talking about.

  • Lewkis

    This picture was directed to me from everybody who has seen my mom, she is quite the fatty.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Lewkis,

    She is NOT fat. She just has big cartilage. HAHA! Shark joke…..did you catch that??? Fuck, I’m funny.

  • urn

    als sharks are fish dumbass xD

  • shark

    i feel demeaned by all this

  • roflcopters

    your face lays the largest eggs in the world

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    urn – you go girl!

    shark – at the end of the day you are still at the top of the food chain

    roflcopter – bring that roflcopter in for a landing…it’s not getting any laughs

  • http://http://www.toiletscribble.com/pics/shootingcraps/your-mom-jokes-in-the-toilet/ pual

    THAT WAS THE MOST GAYST JOKE BITTHAT. (I can interpret..he says “He wants to have man meat all day and night and he is proud”

    Paul, you go girl!! Stand up and be proud!

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com/assgaskets/thank-you-stumbleupon/ Thank You StumbleUpon!! | Toilet Scribble

    [...] and I should mention that THIS is what they were all looking at. Everybody loves a good “Your Mom” joke [...]

  • http://codezebra.blogspot.com benny

    haha I found this amusing!

    bennys last blog post..

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Benny,

    I find YOU amusing!!

  • JimmyJam

    All sharks are fish (but not all fish are sharks!) Some are oviparous, some are viviparous, and some are ovoviviparous. Look up the definitions if you don’t know what those big words mean. The egg was found in 1956, and may mean the whale shark is oviparous, but a female captured in 1996 was pregnant with 300 young, which means they are probably actually ovoviviparous.

    Mom jokes are always funny.

    Thank You.

    JJ

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    JimmyJam – WOAH! Look at the big brain on Jimmy!! Mind if I have a bite of that Big Kahuna burger??

    I am going to take your word on the first paragraph and on the second statement about your mom jokes…all I can say is…EXACTAMUNDO!!

  • JimmyJam

    Thanks…

    My mom is so dumb it takes her an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes. I try to be completely opposite.

  • Spam

    I feel discriminated against!
    Fight the power!

    Your mum jokes will always rock…
    The bed…
    Like you mum does!

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Your Mom sounds nice……AND FAT!!!!! OOhhhh!!!!

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    SPAM,

    Not only will YOUR MOM jokes always rock….YOUR MOM will always rock….ZING!!!!!

  • ToasterOven

    Fitz I want to have sharkbabies with you and raise them in a nice little flashlight with your grandmother and her three turtles.
    oh and FYI Sandals actually lay the largest eggs weighing up to 2 metric shit tons

  • Emily

    Haha. Lolerskatez and rofflecopter.

    Photoshopped or not, correct or not, educated or not.. This is quite funny to me. First that someone would be inclined to write in a bathroom stall that sharks lay large eggs is funny, then, to top it off, someone puts a funny and original “Your Mom” joke in there.

    I have to say, I find this very funny. And that’s saying something because firstly, I hate bathroom humor and secondly, my mother is dead, so, I’m pretty sensitive to mom jokes.

    Again, haha.

  • roy

    you mum pushs pushes back when shes “doing the tango and cash with the Houston Astros”. She’s so slutty that all the chavy skeevy whores adore her and worship her as there their leader.

    EDITED BY FITZ

  • jimmyjams mum

    i am jimmyjams mum and hes abit of a twat.hes like that becos hes made up of lots of diffrent DNA as i conceved conceived him after gettin fucked by 4 football teams at the same time and taking all there their “MAN JUICE” in me. im very ashamed of him and he is a huge disapointment disappointment to me.

    EDITED BY FITZ

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    ToasterOven – I want to have pop tarts with you and a glass of milk

    Emily – thanks for sharing….I feel like Oprah!! You’re right though…it IS funny

    Roy – I know a great therapist…call me..917-720-4213

    JimmyMum – you should also call. The first step is admitting you need help.

  • Chiabone

    I just wanted to comment and see if fitz would make fun of me.

    Sharks give Live birth
    Mom Jokes were only funny in the Early 90′s
    Some Sharks also lay eggs
    Mom jokes still have times when they are funny.

  • Chiabone

    And I do say ‘lol’ out loud in everyday conversation. It gets me weird looks. I understand why, seeing as only weirdo’s say ‘lol’ in conversation.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Chiabone- I am not going to make fun of you because you want me to. I’m not your personal monkey.

    I do have to say though that YOUR MOM was funny in 90′s. Now she’s just funny looking.

    As for saying lol in real life conversation it is weird and we are weirdos but I don’t really care. I’d rather be weird anyway.

  • No one

    your mom jokes were AWSOME when i was in gradeschool – JR high, then they got less funny in highschool… and even more so after highschool…. but the original one of a kind that very few people use… are always great. btw, elephents fly, the mouse is the biggest creature in the world.. and your mom was great last night.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    No One,

    You are totally spot on. Anyone can say an easy Mom joke like “You’re Mom is so stupid that she got stabbed in a shootout”. But to come up with the really good original ones …well…that is so fucking hard (which is exactly what your Mom said to me about 15 minutes ago!).

    Booyaa!!

  • JimmyJam

    Well, Mum, finally you fess up and now I know who my Dad(s) is(are)! No wonder I’m a twat. I’m also quite the asshole. That must be where my Dad(s) fucked you!

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    JimmyJam….I think we may be brothers

  • JimmyJam

    You never know…I have many dads.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Jimmy,

    I will contact you about the DNA testing tomorrow.

  • shankfoo

    I like cephalopods. High heels make me feel tall and sexy.

  • SHAAARK

    I’M A SHAAARK!!! I’M A SHAAARK!!! SUCK MY DIIICK!!! I’M A SHAAARK!

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    shankfoo – I like cellophane.

    SHAAARK – OH MY GOD A SHARK! EVERYONE GET OFF THE INTERNET

  • wt1989

    hahahah.. love it. highbrow and yet non condescending humor.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    wt1989 – welcome aboard

  • N

    But…but my mom was laid, I mean, I…oh shit

    I WAS ADOPTED?!?

  • god(zilla) complex

    sharks AND ‘your mom’ jokes? quite possibly my two favorite things in the world… it’s like my birthday and christmas all rolled into one

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    N – I did not want you to find out like this but since you did…..SURPRISE!!!

    God(zirra)Complex – If sharks and ‘your mom’ jokes are your two favorite things then why is it like your birthday and Christmas? Are Christmas and your Birthday actually your two favorite things? if so why did you lie???

  • Joker

    Fitz,

    Although the picture isn’t funny, Your ridiculous comments remind me of… well, me. So… yea. Ctrl+D this foolish blog, and let it be known that Joker… approves.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Joker,

    You must be pretty fucking awesome. I mean…if you’re like me you HAVE to be. But then again you could be lying just to make yourself sound cool which is not cool. But screw it…keep the bookmark…it IS appreciated…even from a liar like you.

  • Joker

    Fitz,

    Lies? I think not my friend.

    And see, with the bookmark, I can check back every 5 minutes to see what form of witty comment you’ve made and rebut it instantly.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    If you keep checking back I will keep commenting. You can take that to the bank. I will try to be witty but do not try to rebut….I will just keep putting you in your place every time. Nobody puts fitz in a corner.

  • Samwise

    As far as I know there are no live-bearing salt water fishes. Many sharks hold their eggs internally, but they’re still technically egg-layers.

    Also, your momma’s too much

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Samwise,

    Technically speaking your mom is not fat. But she is.

  • McMarijuana

    This is by far the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. Let me know when you get your warped funny bone fixed. Signed, Some really stoned guy.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    McMarijuana,

    I have nothing against getting high…especially for people who have no sense of humor.

    Do you think your Mom is fat because she got high too much and always had the munchies or do you think she just has the fat gene?

  • Joker

    No, fitz, it *is* because she was high all the time. I mean, I would be too if I had a child with absolutely no sense of fuckin’ humor.

  • Joker

    Oh, and also…

    You can’t outwit me. ‘Tis impossible to outwit someone who has no point.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Joker,

    You admitted to not having a sense of humor which proves you actually do. Quite the enigma you are.

    Oh and I can outwit you. It might not be possible to outwit someone with no point but it’s easy to outwit someone with no penis!

  • Joker

    Fitz,

    So now we’re sexist, are we? Hear that ladies? Fitz wants nothin’ to do with you!

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Actually I thought you were a gentleman. I stand corrected.

    However, a woman’s wit will never outmatch mine. Nor will a woman’s penis for that matter.

  • Joker

    Oh…

    I see what you did there.

    Because women don’t have penises.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    You’d be surprised!

  • Joker

    I suppose I would.

  • McMarijuana

    Well I came back again just as stoned as the night before. This time it does seem funnier, about as funny as your mom’s face and unshaven bush. The bush is somehow funny although I have not figured out why since it isn’t very hygienic.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    McMarijuana,

    You need to lay off the Skunk Weed and hit up some Chocolate Thai. That shit is messing with your ability to be funny.

    I left a few joints in your Mom’s dildo drawer. They are yours to have.

  • Joker

    McMarijuana,

    I don’t know exactly what you’re talking about. I checked last night and Fitz’s mom is shaved.

    Your insult: Deflected.

  • ali

    fitz, you rock. I almost pissed myself reading your comments, and that was one of the best your mom jokes I’ve ever read. Well played.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Joker – Mom says hi!

    Ali – You rock!!!!!!!!

  • Danielle

    Well I thought the joke was fucking fabulous. Then I had to read the comments and find out all the scientific shit that disproves it. C’mon guys, why ya gotta spoil the fun?

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Danielle,

    They didn’t prove anything other than that they don’t have a sense oh humor.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    by the way danielle….you rule!

  • Joker

    Fitz – Lies.

    Ali- 100% agreed.

    Danielle – I beleive you’re mistaking the science shit for ass excremement. 90% of everyone up there pulled everything they said completely out of their ass. Therefore – Ass Excrement.

  • Danielle

    Well put.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Amen people! We are neating the end of the constant comments so let me sum up:

    You’re mom is a fat hairy beast but we all love her (because she’s easy). Sharks lay eggs but they don’t. Turtles are cute. Toiletscribble.com rules and so does every person that commented here (even the assclowns)

  • http://heximodz.com hexidimentional

    can i bee an assclown too? and btw isnt my mom the largest woman in the world and is laid by fitz’s mom, and thats because jokers dad cheated on both of them causing them to become lesbians?

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Hexi,

    You have been granted temporary assclown status. You will be monitored over the next month and as long as you continue to comment with meaningless nonsense and insults you will quickly become a full ass clown.

    And tell your Mom I said hello!

  • Joker

    Hexidimentional,

    You misunderstand. Both Your mom and Fitz’s mom were already lesbians, and then my dad laid them both and they went straight, only to be converted back again after he cheated on both of them with each other. You see?

  • http://yourmomma bubba

    your mom is so fat she steped on the rainbow and made skittle

    o ya if any 1 got a rune scape acc tell me and i trade u a level 129 for a leve 90 or 80 kk

    by

  • http://yourmomma bubba

    any body here like your mom

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Bubba – Your mom is so dumb she got stabbed in a shootout.

  • noreen

    This has gotta be the best site to pull a your mom joke on… what does everyone think? http://stuffididlastnight.com

  • http://www.datingwallofshame.blogspot.com juliemccoy

    Fitz – I may not be able to out match you in humor, but you haven’t seen my penis – although made out of latex, I’m guessing it would put yours to shame!

    juliemccoy recently scribbled the following on their toilet (I mean blog)..Sex or Chocolate vs. Sex or Steak

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Julie – my penis was the one they used to make the mold that yours was created from!

  • http://www.datingwallofshame.blogspot.com juliemccoy

    Um, Fitz – when was that drunken blogging night planned???? Can we get that on the calendar – and fast!???

    juliemccoy recently scribbled the following on their toilet (I mean blog)..Sex or Chocolate vs. Sex or Steak

  • Latex Santa

    Your Momma jokes are only funny when they are FUNNY! Check out Robot Chicken’s Star Wars “Your Momma” fight for real laughs…

  • http://fizzle.roseability.com isn’t it awesome when people’s names are longer than their comments?

    yes. it is.

  • http://www.dixkda.com big tits magee

    fitz you turn me on, all this talk about your wang has increased the size of mine, hope we can have extreme gay homosexual sex! :D !!!

  • chuckles

    You’re making the assumption that my mother is the one my dad is laying.

  • http://www.stumbleuponyourmom.com Stumble Made Me Do It…

    …for i never wished to come here and read the humoriginalous nor the string of various blown chunks cleverly disguised as comments.

    p.s. I may have enjoyed it all, but i won’t tell.

  • http://yousuckyousuckyousuck you suck

    Please end this sad blog and go away.

  • This one time in band camp I saw a fat mom

    HOLY SHIT AN OSTRICH.

  • Willy

    This page is going to kill the internets for good if it continues….

  • marty

    gj fitz. your mom jokes = win
    via stumble

  • Amee

    Fitz is a shitz
    a shitz he is he
    a poor little loser
    with no mother to be
    he’s a poor little boy
    with only one little toy
    stuck between his legs
    play Fitzy play..

  • http://what?? tingo

    i think that you should get laid

  • http://what?? tingo

    haha i think that i am a genius i did not even type in me real stuff

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