Ask Fitz, Questions

Ask Fitz: Two Questions Two Answers

Let’s switch things up a little and answer some questions in a video instead of text. This video runs a little long at 9 minutes. I’m sure 7 minutes of it should have been left on the cutting room floor but I don’t have a cutting room and besides, I get naked at the end of it so it’s worth the wait.

Be Sociable, Share!
Your Ad Here
  • Erika

    Congratulations on your iPhone.

    Erika recently scribbled the following on their toilet (I mean blog)..Yum!

  • Dawn

    Wait- you have an iPhone?

  • dylan

    thanks for the answers, Fitz. and for the plug. though your answer frightens me. i’ll never look at sushi the same way again.

  • Krys Lee

    Way to get naked buddy.. 9 minutes of garble about robots taking over the world, dudes acting like chicks; wondering who their secret crush is really interested in and how they can be just like that person, NUMEROUS mention of your precious Iphone (which I get enough of from my 16 year old brother).. I feel fucking cheated.. That was just like going on a really hot date with someone you’ve CONVINCED yourself is going to be the biggest turn-on since that kid that licked your earlobe in the 8th grade.. So you wait, and you wait, and you smile and nod while he talks about his homo-erotic gaming nights with his “hetero-soul mates”, that girl in the not so distant past who really taught him what heartbreak feels like, his loose and poorly thought out theories on the Mechanical Apocolypse (listen buddy, fuck the machines and start preparing for the undead, and even in the event of a MA, there’s no way in hell you’ve watched the Terminator series as many times as I have, I’m not impressed.) By the end of it, like at the end of this video, I come to the shamefully depressing realization that… No one brought the penis..
    Thanks Fitz.

    P.S. My search for “undressing irishmen” on youtube came up dry.

  • Krys Lee

    I want to very sincerely apologize to Fitz and everyone else for that ridiculous comment I just left. Not sure what’s wrong with me this morning.

  • fitz

    Krys Lee – I thought it was a fantastic comment

  • Danielle

    Krys lee – I think I went on a date with that same guy.

  • charlotte sometimes

    Holy shit, Fitz…hyper much? I had to watch this a couple of times just to get whateverthehellyouweretalkingabout.

    Caffeine is not always your friend. Nakedness is. Stop with the instant java and off with the clothes!

    Good answers though. I want Ryan to report back on how the homosexuality test went.

  • Krys Lee

    Danielle- Where can we both go to find a couple of big, tough, hairy, sex crazed men who want nothing more than to feed us a good dinner, serve us a few strong drinks and then show us their pride and joy?

    Fitz- Every time I hear/read you use the word Fantastic I hear the gay voice.. See all you had to do was say it that way once and now I’m ruined.

  • fitz

    Charlotte – I live on coffee

    Krys Lee – FANTASTIC!!!

  • Danielle

    Krys Lee – I already found mine, and I’m not sharing. I even tricked him into thinking he tricked me into marrying him, Sucka. But maybe one of these days I’ll divulge the semi-embarrassing place I met him.
    Until then, keep trying to find the elusive big hairy tough man who puts out food and protein. For every 15 bad dates, there is usually one OK one!

    Fitz – I can’t wait to get home and actually watch this video. The speakers don’t work on my work computer. And now that I know you don’t really get naked at the end, I’m not going to watch it without sound.

  • Joker

    Danielle – That 15:1 Ratio is required by the National Association of Men. We have a meeting every 6 months to decide things like… what is the best form of alcohol, and what to do with all our Japanese robots.

    Fitz – You lied to me… I’ve lost faith in you. *sniffle*

    Also – I like the kidnapping idea. I like it alot actually…. Hell, I’ll drive the van.

  • fitz

    Danielle – Get some damn speakers! How in the hell can you survive without toiletscribble ‘on demand’?

    Joker – It was a little white lie and Momma said it wouldn’t hurt nobody. Also, do you have a van?

  • Ricky

    Krys – big, tough (yet gentle), hairy, sex-crazed men? Let me give you my phone number. Its 606- *power outage*

    I guess you will never know!

  • fitz

    Ricky – how did you type “I guess you will never know!” with the power out?

  • fitz

    Dylan – I didnt notice your comment up there. You’re welcome! And wait till you hear about sushi!! Maybe I shouldn’t tell you about it actually

  • Ricky

    Fitz…I am just awesome like that.

  • Ryan

    FITZ!!! LOL the meat race is a competition at our local BBQ joint, they have an insane meat platter. Firs tone done wins. But your Answer was full of win too. Thanks for the input!

  • Ryan

    Oh, and on the “in love thing” I’m totally not hehe

  • sabrina

    Further supporting the theory that Japanese and Asians in general ["Pan-Asians" OR "Pan-Fried Asians"] are obviously not human are the following FACTS:

    FACT: They get to choose their own names. Contrary to popular belief, this does not happen only in America. Nail salons are the most obvious example of this fact. Popular Nail Tech names include Sue, Young, SUNNY [or Sun], Grace, Ann, Kim, and Donna. They choose one of these direct pronoun gold nuggets instead of their “real” names, supposedly so that their ignorant American customers don’t improperly pronounce or forget their actual names. [Examples of actual asian names include Pan Sook, Ning San, An Young, On, Pihng Pohng, Nil Pang, Tat Pook, Loohk Nau, and Mami Wata.] The reality of the situation, Johnny, is that Pihng Pohng translates directly back to Grace and you have been fooled.

    FACT: Asians prefer things to be numbered because robots are person-shaped computers and computers interpret data using numbers. For example, when I call Magic Wok [914.769.5656 #1 Most Palatable Szechuan Cuisine in the greater Westchester area] I often order a #47 instead of Steamed Pork Dumplings, in order to bypass the information translation step.

    FACT: Asian advertising often utilizes cartoon imagery because Asians have identified with cartoons since the Jetsons pioneered the Robot Acceptance Movement [R.A.M.] by having a robotic “Hired Helper.”

    So, seeing as the above facts are clearly accurate, I’d say that we, as a dotcom collective, have made a HUGE, fantastic, and groundbreaking discovery in the field of anthropology.

    You have to figure that if we get away with a measly 1% of the astronomical finder’s fee, we’ll all be able to say “Fuuuuuuuck YOU!” [or "That idea is not fantastic, Krys,"] at our jobs within the month.

    My final thought is that my licensure also makes me a Nail Tech and I would prefer to be addressed as Sunny from this point forward.

  • fitz

    Sunny – I like your take on this! I think the menu ordering thing hit home the most. It makes so much sense! I once knew a Japanese girl named Pingh Pohng. She liked doing white lines and doing it on a table. If we hit this 1% finder’s fee we might be able to change the world…..all of us together….the toiletscribble collective.

  • Ricky

    True story…there was a foreign exchange student at my high school. His name was (and i’m not kidding) Phuc Le. This was funny.

    One day, one of my awesome teachers was at her computer and started dying laughing. She turned around and told me to come look. Sure enough, it was his full name: Phuc Hu Le.

  • fitz

    Ricky – It could only be better if her name was Phuc Me

  • sabrina

    Here are some Japanese names that I found by googling “Japanese Names.”


  • sabrina

    PS Fitz- The ToiletScribble Collective = Suburban New Jersey Emo/Punk Band operating out of your parents’ garage?

  • Anonymous

    wholesale designer bags Make yourself heard
    cheap timberland boots Start Ahead.
    cheap gucci shoes diamond lasts forever
    puma men shoes Fresh-up with Seven-up
    nike shox r4 Connecting People?
    air max 2012 Let us make things better?
    authentic jerseys suppliers The Relentless Pursuit of Perfection?
    authentic nfl jerseys Communication unlimited?
    nfl jerseys suppliers Feast your eyes
    coach factory outlet Behind that healthy smile,there ’s a Crest kid.
    coach outlet store Good to the last drop.
    coach bags outlet  Obey your thirst.
    coach bags on sale  We lead? others copy.
    coach handbags on sale The choice of a new generation.
    coach outlet online Let’s make thing btter.

  • Anonymous

    motorcycle jackets Time is what you make of it
    nike high heels Ideas for life
    coach factory outlet online Connecting People
    nike heels Mosquifo bye bye bye
    coach outlet store The taste is great
    womens motorcycle jackets Take time to indulge
    nike high heels Impossible made possible
    coach outlet online We lead. Others copy
    leather motorcycle jackets The new digital era
    jordan heels We’re the dot. in. com
    coach factory outlet online Live well, snack well
    motorcycle bike belmets Nobody is perfect
    motorcycle jackets Anything is possible
    superdry sale Take TOSHIBA, take the world
    superdry outlet Our wheels are always turning

  • Anonymous

    wholesale coach purses dadult fable. Far fewe
    cheapdesignerhandbags are aware of Saint-Exupery’s
    designer coach handbags ther writings, novels and
    designer gucci handbags upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer prada handbags upery was a fighter pilot wh
    louis vuitton bags outlet upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer hermes handbags upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer juicy couture handbags upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer jimmy choo handbags upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer dolce gabbana handbags upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer burberry handbags upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer fendi handbags upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer marc jacobs handbags upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer tory burch handbags upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer furla handbags upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer mk handbags upery was a fighter pilot wh
    coach wallets outlet upery was a fighter pilot wh
    coach purses outlet upery was a fighter pilot wh
    gucci wallets outlet upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer hermes wallets upery was a fighter pilot wh
    louis vuitton wallets outlet upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer tous wallets upery was a fighter pilot wh
    men wallets sale dismal upery was a fighter pilot wh
    designer gucci shoes upery was a fighter pilot wh
    gucci shoes for men upery was a fighter pilot wh
    cheap gucci sale upery was a fighter pilot wh
    cheap gucci shoes sale upery was a fighter pilot wh
    timberland boots outlet dismal sense of inadequacy
    timberland boots online dismal sense of inadequacy
    cheap louis vuitton shoes dismal sense of inadequacy
    cheap nike air max passengers inched 
    designer sunglasses outlet extra time
    cheap oakley sunglasses  fought back
    cheap carrera sunglasses kissed her
    gucci sunglasses for sale helplessly as
    women air max 2012 security and
    cheap air max 2012 march down
    cheap air max 2011 way through