Questions

Getting Wasted ’08

I just read a post on another blog called A Second Hand Conjecture that asked an interesting question…”What presidential candidate would you want to have a drink with?”. The author chose Obama. I am voting for Obama for sure but I totally disagree with the original author as far as who I would chose to drink with. Read below to find out why.

Getting Drunk With The Future President

Why not drink with Obama? Well, first let us discuss why it would be fun to drink with any presidential candidate. Personally, I think the ultimate goal of the outing would be to get him or her so wasted that they spill their guts. Then once they become Commander in Chief you would have a check in your pocket worth one free favor to be cashed in at the time of your choosing. Perhaps you got pulled over and arrested for a DUI. Imagine what that free phone call from jail would sound like…

WH: This is the White house how may I direct your call

You: Put me on with the President

WH: We cannot do that, who is calling.

You: This is the guy the president went drinking with in New York City in April 2008.

WH: We were wondering when you would call…please hold I am putting you through.

I’m sure there are plenty of other uses for that ‘get out of jail free card’…just use your imagination.

Anyway, why wouldn’t Obama be a good choice? Too clean. Not enough skeletons in his closet. You’d get the guy wasted and he would spill his guts and what would come out…..that he is still sneaking cigarettes and his wife has no idea. Big freaking deal. It might make for a nice little story to tell your friends but this is a golden opportunity for some free power and Obama just isn’t going to be able to deliver.

McCain would probably be pretty fun. I am a former Marine and I love war stories. McCain would have me on the edge of my seat with his tales of Vietnam but beyond that I don’t think he would spill much in a drunken state. He might even freak out and have a flashback and want to fight and I don’t need that kind of drama. Plus he seems to me like the kind of guy that would vomit when drunk. I would then end up with the gross task of framing my presidentially puked on shirt for posterity’s sake.

Hillary on the other hand, fucking jackpot!! Once wasted Hillary would spill her guts and this lady has stories to tell. What little nugget would pop out? There is a veritable cornucopia of secrets that I bet she is dying to tell someone. “Monica Lewinsky…..I had her first”…..”Whitewater…We were totally LYING”…..”oh and those people that some conspiracy theorists think we killed…..WE DID!”.

So, it’s Hillary by a mile strictly based on the value of the information that could possibly be gleaned. If I had to choose who would be most fun to drink with I might still take Clinton. Sure she’s not a lot to look at but I will bet that the poor woman has been sexually neglected by Bill since college. That would make for one hell of a celebrity sex tape!! Then again, I’d be known from that moment on as ‘The Other Lewinsky’. Eh…I can deal with that.

So who would you drink with and why? Leave a comment and let me and the rest of the world know.

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