Rants and Raves

McCain Reaches Out to the Blogosphere

05.16.08 | View Comments

I love politics but I don’t love writing about it. It isn’t funny….it’s depressing. But today a headline caught my eye and I felt compelled to scribble something down. Apparently John McCain reached out today to the blogosphere.

Sen. John McCain’s presidential campaign is trying to tap a new audience of potential voters by taking his campaign message straight to liberal and nonpolitical issues-based blogs, which reach millions of readers but don’t often delve into conservative politics.

“The plan is to take the work we’ve already built on with conservative bloggers and to open up a dialogue with non-conservative bloggers and even nonpolitical bloggers,” said Patrick Hynes, Mr. McCain’s point man for blog outreach.

fitz-and-mccain

Well, toiletscribble.com just so happens to be a blog and it’s definitely not conservative so I guess that includes me. I feel a little dirty saying that, ‘John McCain reached out to me’. It sounds like some kind of euphemism. But when someone takes the time to reach out you have to respond. It’s a matter of being polite.

So Mr. McCain, if you are reading, please consider this post my response to your call to the blogosphere.

I sincerely hope that in the next few days you develop a severe case of gonorrhea and it is so bad you have to drop out of the campaign. I hope that as a result of your gonorrhea some reporter starts digging into your love life and uncovers that you are gay and actually secretly married to a 3 foot horse jockey named Jose in Vermont. I hope that on the night of your defeat in November as you walk on stage to concede the race to Obama that your pants fall down and cause you to trip and it is revealed that you wear pink speedo underwear with a bullseye printed on the back.

While I salute your service to this country we just do not need another shortsighted right-wing ass clown in the White House. In fact I think Bush has squandered all of our ass clown tolerance for the next 50 years or so. To your credit you can actually speak in full sentences and you can probably point to the United States on a map but that is not what makes a President.

Again, thank you for reaching out to me and thank you for accepting my reach around.

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  • charlotte sometimes

    Holy crap, that was truly ALOL for me. Now I have to go clean the spit & beer off myself. That will teach me to drink whilst reading your blog.
    My drycleaner thanks you.

  • Joker

    Charlotte – You may want to ask for the anti-Fitz coating on your clothes next time you hit your drycleaners. It will allow you to sip your beer in peace, with a microscopic layer of Irish who drink any beer (or beer/spit combo) you may in fact spill on yourself. Genius really.
    (No offense to our Irish friends, of course)

    Fitz – Couple things. One, I agree, McCain is a retard. Two, politics can be *very* funny to write about. Remind me next time I’m on Yahoo messanger and I’ll give you an example. Three, this is just McCain reaching out for every last vote he can get. Frankly, I’m insulted. The geek community can not be bought out with cheap programs like this. OOH! What’s that you say? The government is starting a new de-motivational poster website? Cool!

    P.S. – That was a joke obviously.

    P.P.S. – As is most everything I say.

    P.P.P.S. – As the screen name indicates.

    P.P.P.P.S – But I’m sure you’ve figured that out already.

    P.P.P.P.P.S. – Five ‘P’s is enough I think

    P.P.P.P.P.P.S. – Haha, I just realized if you said the second P.S. out loud, you’d have said PeePee. Hah!

    P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. – Lol

  • megatrout

    Fitz, I don’t know, man, you two look comfortable together. Natural. You could be the man behind the man, so to speak, the “first side piece.” Working from the inside to change his stance on the issues. Something to think about, Fitz.
    Mega

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Mega,

    I would bite the bullet if it meant the difference between 4 more years of totalitarian rule and 4 years of Democracy. I think I would actually be sort of a hero. Perhaps I should try to seduce him?

  • megatrout

    Take one for the team. At least half the country would owe you a beer. At the least. Man up, man!

  • http://www.datingwallofshame.blogspot.com Julie McCoy

    Mega – I’m with you~

    Let’s start this campaign…………Fitz, the man coming from behind & working hard to get the crap out of the White House~

    Fitz! Fitz! Fitz! Fitz!

    Julie McCoy recently scribbled the following on their toilet (I mean blog)..Vote for your favorite Dating site

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