This reminds me of when people say about the deceased, "God knew they were too good for this world." If their god really thought that, wouldn't it/he/she keep that person here to try to fix shit?
I'm still here so I must suck in the eyes of God. Woohoo, longevity rules!
I'a a Christian, and I'm a Funeral Director. They taught us in mortuary school to be careful of phrases like that. I could write a book on this crap.
Anywho, I personally believe that God has a plan, and everything happens according to that plan. "God took them for a reason" is wrong. But when someone dies, it may be just because their number is up. Using the George Carlin example...I don't think God needed a comedian...it was just his time. But if that wino child abuser wife beater dies, maybe there was a reason...God might have been sparing those who he was hurting/was going to hurt.
Maybe I am off base...I dunno...this was just what was running through my head.
Avery - It's funny but I sometimes don't realize that I am angry or frustrated or whatever. Then I put up a video and someone will email or comment and say "wow you were mad or frustrated". I think you were right. I was frustrated.
Charlotte - I hate that phrase too. I mean if God knew they were too good for this world it was HIS fault right. I mean he fucking created them no???
Ricky - I think we have different beliefs about the man in the sky. That is perfectly alright with me. I think as long as people constantly re-evaluate their beliefs and are open to other ideas the world has at least some hope. You aren't off base though. This is an open forum.
Let me talk for a second about God's plan though. If God has a plan doesn't that kind of suck? I mean don't you want to believe that the future is yours to make or break and is not something that is already written in stone?
Fitz- Don't forget/neglect freedom of the will. You get to choose what you want to do on stuff...he just happens to know what you are going to choose.
Here is my disclaimer...I have very definite beliefs. They are not what the church or anyone tells me to believe, they are mine. I never want to force them onto someone else, but I love to share them. Consider me the "voice of mainstream Protestantism" around here. Take me or leave me!
Those phrases suck. However... they are much less annoying than other comments that can be made around untimely deaths. When I was in high school, a close friend drowned. He had ditched the first day of school with a few buddies and they had gone swimming in Lake Michigan. I found out about it while watching the news that night with my mother. What did she say? "Well he shouldn't have ditched school." Really? Thanks. You are the source of comfort. The thing was, she wasn't trying to be insensitive, but she didn't know what else to say. People say the dumbest shit because they want to be comforting, but there truly is not one single comforting thing to say when someone dies. This includes the "best" of the bad comments. "At least she died in her sleep" "At least now she isn't in anymore pain" "She isn't suffering anymore" and then all the comments that include god. I want to scream every time I hear those comments. How dense do you have to be? When people we know die, we are fucking sad for the LIVING. If you are sad, it is because you lost the person's presence in your life.
"I'm so sorry for your loss." "I can't imagine how hard this is for you."
And just tonight, I said to someone "I remember once your mother did *such and such activity*. She sure will be missed" In that statement, I was positive and directed thoughts towards the life well lived, but I did not take anything away from the current painful situation.
1) We all know George Carlin is in hell... He'd be very disappointed with himself if he wasn't.
2) Those phrases are bullshit. In fact, I've found the best way to deal with grief is to get everything out. Seriously. Just say "Well, it was bound to happen eventually." Sensitivity isn't always the best solution, I find. If you can force people to grieve about it, they end up feeling much better much sooner.
Now on to individual responses.
Charlotte - If God knew they were too good for this world, why the hell did he put them here in the first place?
Ricky - Expertise are always welcome here... This is definately your area of expertise.... So welcome :D
Fitz - Spicing things up. Bah! You were too lazy to stand.
Danielle - Although I know what you mean, I do wonder.... how exactly did he drown? I mean... the lake is usually pretty calm, and unless he was severely drunk or something, it's not very easy to drown... There's alot of shallow water.
Joker - I'm not sure if you were trying to be funny, but I laughed a lot at your question. Yes, there is a lot of shallow water. But there is also a lot of deep water in Lake Michigan. Louis got caught between the tide and rocks. There were two other guys in the water who got into trouble, and one on land. The kid on the shore tried to save them, but only got one kid out of the water. The other two died. There was no alcohol involved. It wasn't smart of them to be in the water since there was no lifeguard on duty. But they were being teenagers, and teenagers do dumb stuff. I'm not going to excuse their actions. My point for bringing up the story wasn't to garner sympathy for something that happened 12 years ago. The point was, no matter what the relationship, no one knows what to say when someone dies. My mother didn't mention god, but my reaction was the same as if she had. Because whether god wanted him back, or it was his time, or he did something stupid and paid for it with his life, My pain felt the same. And nothing she could have said would have changed those feelings. When someone loses someone I personally think the best thing is to just give them a hug and tell them you are sorry. Or let them know in some other way that you are there for them.
Danielle - Thank goodness you said it, you hit the nail on the head...we do not grieve for the dead, we grieve for ourselves and the fact that we can't have that person with us anymore.
Ricky - It must be extremely difficult to deal with people under duress on a daily basis. You have an incredible strength of will, I'll bet.
Joker - It made me giggle but I think “Well, it was bound to happen eventually” is a little rough. I do like it when you're rough with Fitz so it all works out.
Danielle - Like charlotte says "you hit the nail on the head". Dead people don't need our pity or our silly phrases. Why? Cause they're fucking dead. As for your friend that died in the Lake, that sucks, but I can assure you of one thing, God was not trying to fill any spots on the Heaven Swim Team.
Ricky - Those phrases are good. It's showing support to a person instead of trying to help that person make sense of the death. But Carlin even made fun of those phrases. For example "If there is anything I can do please do not hesitate to ask" should be responded to with "Tomorrow come over with some paintbrushes, you can paint the garage"
Joker - Well done. That is the perfect thing to say. It's honest. It's not socially acceptable but hey, neither is walking down the street naked and I do that daily.
Fitz is right. God is a greedy bastard. The entire idea of Christianity is that God put people on Earth for the sole purpose of worshipping him. Everything on Earth is supposedly only to be used for worship. That includes instruments, any talent you may have (what if you are a blumby expert?), etc. etc. etc.
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