BRO! You are replacing some of the umms with uhhhs...no bother, it is a habit. But to be honest, you are a magnificent bastard! I have been following you for a few months and have enjoyed every moment. PLEASE post more about the dirty 'secret' words! I understand your ADD and enjoy every minute of it! Look into the mirror to get rid of the Umm and Uhh L8r fareak! much luv
Reasons people are ashamed of their poo: 1) Since the beginning of intelligent life for humans, we have prided ourselves in being smarter than all other beasts. Our weapon is our intelligence. We might not be bigger, or stronger than other animals, but no fear! We are so much better than them because we can make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! We aren't animals! We are Humans! However...when we poo, we revert to our most animalistic stage. We hunch down. We make growly noises. We make scrunchy faces. When we poo we are one with our animal brothers, and that thought is terribly bothersome. 2) We are ashamed of our poo because it is super stinky and we don't want to be thought of as "that guy/girl who rips ass like a thousand year old garbage dump." 3) Those of us who are not ashamed of our poo, have to act like we are in polite society or we are looked down upon by the tight asses around us. Personally, my sense of humor stopped developing in the third grade, so poop is the funniest thing in the world to me, and I am amazed by the things that make my butt explode. For example, did you know that cooked spinach "cleans out the bowels?"( Yeah, it is a horrendous experience if you are not expecting it.) But some people turn green when you make poop jokes, and so that instills a shame in you. 4) I think it really comes down to wanting to impress at all times. You don't poop with the door open with a girl in the other room, because you want her to see you at your best. Squatting and grunting and sweating isn't your best. I lived with my best friend for 5 years and she pooped with the door open all the time. She didn't feel the need to impress me, and she walked around mostly naked anyway, so there wasn't a modesty issue. Which brings me to my next point... 5) Part of the reason we close the door while taking a crap is for modesty purposes. It is a vulnerable thing, to be sitting on the toilet with your pants down (or skirt up.) I think it is fair to say that the majority of people not raised on a nudest colony feel awkward when their bits and pieces are exposed.
(for the record, i just deleted a paragraph about men sitting on the toilet with their wieners dangling down into it, and it not being an attractive sight. But I went into great detail and decided it was too much and deleted it. However, I still think it is a good argument for closing the door while you poop, because the last time I checked, the goal was to keep us attracted, and wanting to put it in our mouths. And seeing crap particles flying back up onto your ding-a-ling does not accomplish that goal.)
solid analysis. though, i wouldn't encourage people to be so proud of shitting. i know plenty of people that seem to be too proud. i never understood the guy in the next stall at the bathroom at work who has to moan and grunt so that everyone in the bathroom can hear audible emotion to his own shitting. do that at home. i don't need to hear your reactions to those brown, slimy logs coming out of your anus. i have to admit, i'm probably one of those people who are a little shit shy. if i'm finished doing my business at a stall at work and there's someone else in the bathroom. i will sit there until that person leaves. i don't need that person associating my stink with my face. but all too often, there are people that are more than happy to show their face right after they've stunk the place up. i don't get that. so, Fitz i agree, there are many shit-shamed people out there (like i said, I'm not a huge fan of boasting about my shit) but there are plenty of people that have already followed your advice by being very -- all too proud -- of their stinky shitting prowess.
I tend to think the shame comes on a little later in life (I'm guessing somewhere around puberty, since that is whan most shame appears.) My 3 yr old son certainly has no shame. He has to add interesting adjectives to his poop. ("Look mommy, octopus-arm poop", "I have rock poop today", etc.) Although, he does already ask for privacy... I must say my feelings won't be hurt if he reaches a point where I don't have to admire his fine work.
Avery - I am going to double check but were there really 33? Ummm, uhhh wow!
Complexity - That comment made my day. It really did. Thank you!
Danielle - You are great. I just thought I would point that out. If it weren't for comments like yours I 'd have half the content I currently have. I think I agree with all your points but #4 hits home the hardest. In fact I think that's the answer. Perhaps it is not shame at all but just our need to always impress.
Joker - Thats the first time you have ummm, uhhhh, been at a loss for words!
Dylan - I think we have the same bathroom manner you and I. I will also wait in the stall for people to leave. I will even wait for people to leave before I wipe or flush sometimes. I think you also bring up something worthy of it's own video....people that moan, groan and even TALK during a trip to the shitter. These people drive me nuts. That video is coming up soon!
Dawn - I'd love to hear your input on toilet training since you have a child. Why do you think that your child went from showing you his poops (fantastic by the way) to wanting privacy? Or does he just want privacy during the act and then shows you after?
Dylan - It is one thing to not be ashamed of the fact that you poop. It is definitely another thing to sit in a public stall and give a running commentary on what is plopping into the toilet. There is no reason for loud oohs and aahs. There is no reason for loud sighs, or whistles. It is rude and gross. What I was referring to in my third point, was when you are not currently popping. When a poop joke is made and someone with a very tight butt-hole looks at you like you are disgusting. To those people I say, "Get over yourselves"
I have a funny story to share that has to do with this subject.
I have an acquaintance, let's call her Tiffany. Tiffany suffers from a chronic, severe case of constipation. When she finally has to poop, it is a long production. We are talking at least an hour in the bathroom. And she gets so backed up, that it doesn't matter where she is. Once her body decides she has to poop, she HAS to poop. The fact that she takes an hour in the bathroom isn't the worst part. The worst part is that she gets so hot that she starts sweating buckets. So every single time she poops she ends up stripping naked so her clothes don't get drenched with sweat. NO MATTER WHERE SHE IS. Local pizza place? Naked. First date with that cute boy she's been dying to go out with? Naked and pooping. Work? Soooo Naked. Can you imagine? Can you imagine being "That weird girl who takes all her clothes off while she poops" at work? So, another thing that amuses me about her story, is that she has a very clingy chihuahua that needs to be around her at all times when she is home. So if she is pooping at home, then she is in the bathroom, on the toilet, NAKED with her licky chihuahua in her arms. lol. I can't stop laughing at that image.
I'm pretty sure that if I believed in Hell, I'd be going there.
He only wants privacy during the act, then he shows me the finished product. If we are in public or someplace where I have to be in the bathroom, he makes me turn around. Not just avert my gaze- I have to face the wall. Then he proudly unveils his accomplishment with a fancy arm flourish and sometimes an honest-to-god "Ta-dah!".
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