smoking

Let me preface this post with the fact that smoking is bad for you. I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. It is a filthy habit that makes your breath stink and your teeth yellow and you are going to die early if you make a habit of it.

So today cigarette prices in New York State are going up by $1.25 per pack. That brings the average price of a pack of smokes in New York City to $8.00. Eight fucking dollars! A full $2.75 of that eight dollars is state tax and annually the state of New York makes $1.3 billion dollars on cigarette taxes.

I completely understand the concept of taxes and even understand being taxed a little higher on a vice like alcohol or smokes but this is fucking ridiculous. The last time I checked smoking was completely legal. If the government is truly concerned with people’s health then they should make smoking a fucking illegal activity and not a fucking cash cow.

And to all the anti-smokers who support and push for these taxes GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A SPLINTERED BROOMSTICK YOU GRABASTIC PIECES OF APE SHIT (AND USE ROCK SALT AS A LUBRICANT). I hope you all get hit by a fucking bus driven by a chain smoker who was so stressed out over the price of smokes they ran a red light and smacked into an anti-smoking rally. Seriously, this is abuse of smokers plain and simple.

Is eating fatty foods every day bad for you? Yes it is. Would you be happy if you had to pay $8 for a donut every morning because it was bad for you? Of course you wouldn’t. Drinking alcohol is bad for you. Would you mind if a six pack had an additional $2.75 attached to it’s price? Of course you would. It’s criminal to tax something with no legitimate reason other than to deter people from purchasing the product. If the government truly gave a shit about people quitting they would ban tobacco. They will never do so though because they refuse to lose out on all the money they get annually from it.

That being said, I am going to quit. It’s been on my to-do list for a year now and it’s time. But I will never turn into a rabid anti-smoker that makes funny faces at smokers on the street. I will never ask someone to put out their cigarette because it’s bothering me. I will not look down on people who smoke. In fact I may buy cigarettes here and there and light them up and stand next to non-smokers just to piss them off. I may stop smoking but I will always be a smoker because I refuse to be lumped in with the militant anti-smokers of the world.

I smoke. It’s not smart, it’s not healthy and people find it offensive. Obviously I can live with all of those things but there are people who take too much offense. At least once per day someone will walk by me and cover their mouth and mumble something about cancer or their health or about how rude I am for being a smoker. All of you people can get fucking bent. I don’t care.

If your pathetic body cannot stand to even walk past someone that is smoking because you are afraid of getting cancer then you need to buy a gas mask. You inhale plenty of terrible shit on a daily basis that comes from sources other than smokers. Until they make it illegal to smoke in public you need to learn how to deal with it.

I have a feeling that the loudest complainers are heath freaks that drink shots of wheat grass all day long. Ironically, these are the same people that lay the most insanely gross farts on the elevator as I am getting on but you don’t see me bitching and talking under my breath about you.

It’s sad but I have to quit smoking. It’s eating my life away puff by beautiful puff. Why sad? Well, I enjoy smoking. It makes me look cool which is why I started. It has given me crows feet which adds to my manliness. It keeps my teeth a nice shade of dandelion. Did you know that dandelion is Crayola color number #34?

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