Toilet Scribble

Bottom Ten Reasons To Vote for Obama

I’m voting for Obama. I am all about hope and he is hope incarnate. He lost some points with me when he quit smoking though but still he is without a doubt getting my vote. Liking a candidate because they smoke is pretty stupid in the first place which made me think, what are the bottom ten reasons to vote for Obama?

Obama 57

The Bottom Ten Reasons to Vote for Obama

1.

You are a racist but you hide it very well. You plan on voting for Obama and getting video proof of you doing it so that the next time you are called a racist you can ‘prove’ you aren’t.

2.

You have been working on a series of ‘your mom’ jokes that all end with the phrase “Obama your Momma”.

3.

Your brother read an article that said Obama’s first piece of legislation would be to legalize PCP.

4.

You smoke PCP.

5.

You often find yourself calling the Whitehouse at 3am most mornings and the thought of Hillary answering the phone makes you throw up in your mouth a little bit. The thought of McCain answering the phone never entered your mind because everyone knows that old people do not stay up that late.

6.

You hate Fox news and you know that if Obama wins Bill Oreilley and Sean Hannity will probably both have heart attacks while snorting coke off eachother’s asses.

7.

You had a dream that Obama, Hillary and McCain were all WWF wrestlers. They were in a three way steel cage match. Obama snuck in a foreign object (some white powder from Mr Fuji) and blinded Hillary with it. He then proceeded to ravage McCain with blows to the skull until he was unconscious. He then picked up McCain and used him like a human baseball bat and beat Hillary senseless. You thought this showed courage and ingenuity. You also thought his deal with Mr. Fuji showed foreign policy expertise.

8.

Passenger 57 is your favorite movie. If there is one thing you learned from that movie it’s that you always bet on black.

9.

Obama has zero grams of fat, no trans-fat, doesn’t cause drowsieness and won’t upset your stomach. McCain causes severe drowsiness and Hillary is an angry bitch that already was the President for 8 years.