Bottom Tens

Bottom Tens

Every day I read about 500 bajillion websites, blogs, twitters, emails, etc and every day I am inundated with top ten lists. Top ten reasons to buy a mac, top ten reasons to switch to Linux, top WordPress themes and on and on an on. Don’t get me wrong though, I do read a lot of them and a lot are funny or informative or sometimes both. It is obvious that people like top ten lists… David Letterman can’t be wrong.

It came to me as I was thinking up categories for this blog that top tens was a must have. They are quick to write and people like them. But I don’t want to be top ten number 500 bajillion and one. I want to be fresh and exciting. So what then? BOTTOM TENS! Basically I am going to answer questions you have never asked. For example:

The bottom ten reasons to buy a Mac

1. Macintosh is an apple and apples remind you of summers at your grandparent’s house in South Carolina.

2. Your friend Tom has a buddy Jim who used to date a girl that worked at CompUSA and she says that Apple makes the best computers ever.

3. You think Steve Wozniak is a Greek God.

4. You were watching a documentary on Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch and in one scene you saw Mark Wahlberg using a Mac (he was reading an article on how to extend your 15 minutes of fame and apparently didn’t share it with any of the others in the Funky Bunch)

5. You read that Macs do not get computer viruses but you have faith in your own stupidity and are sure you can prove that wrong.

6. Your friend showed you that you can type things and the Mac will say them in funny computer voices. You plan on buying the Mac solely so you can type dirty words and phrases and listen to a computer say them.

7. Mac spelled backwards is cam. You have a webcam. The mac has a built in cam. None of these are coincidences.

8. You invented something called a ‘Perceptual Mop’ which happens to be an anagram for ‘Apple Computer’

9. Last night God came to you in a dream and warned against owning any kind of computer besides a Mac. He also told you that he likes to eat turduken.

10. You saw a t-shirt that read “PCs are for fags” and you believe it.

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