Toilet Scribble

My ass MIGHT have GPS, which I won’t fully admit here but what I really want to know is this: If my ass has GPS why doesn’t it f*ing know when someone has left the toilet seat up????!!! Maybe that’s sonar? I don’t know what it is, but I wish I had it!

I can find the seat in the dark at my house when I’m barely awake. It might even be considered sleepwalking. But I’m pissed that my ass can’t tell that the toilet seat is up. Guys, I know you’ve heard this complaint a million times, but you’ve got to understand how freakin’ cold bowl water is at 2AM!

juliemccoy recently scribbled the following on their toilet (I mean blog)..The Facebook vortex of hell~

I never really thought about this but you are so right!!!

I think my ass GPS must have upgraded itself over the years though because not only does it work for #2 but also when I have to urinate too.

Since you’ve pointed this out I guess you’re the man to ask…
how do I change the voice from the boring American to the sexy Italian dude?

Julie – That’s definitely sonar and unfortunately we are not equipped. You know I dont think its fun to sit in cold toilet water but on behalf of men everywhere I would like to say “Look before you sit, dont blame us for your inability to look before you sit”.

Sorry but that needed to be said.

Charlotte are you really asking me how to get a sexy Italian man in your ass?

Wow! I didn’t realize that there needed to be a whole human being up there, maybe that’s what I’m doing wrong.

Heck, things have been a little slow for me…hook me up.

Charlotte – I will make some calls. Expect good things.

Fitz~

Do guys turn the light on in the middle of the night, or do they just aim and pee?

I’m asking because if you want me to look in the middle of the night, I have to turn the light on. Then I”ll be fully awake and unable to fall asleep when I get back to bed. Then I might be tempted to put my cold feet on the guy who might be the one to blame for leaving the toilet seat up.

If said guy would just put the seat down, the light wouldn’t have to be flipped on and all will be well – I can pee in a semi-stupor and go peacefully back to bed.

PUT THE SEAT DOWN!

Julie McCoy recently scribbled the following on their toilet (I mean blog)..Dating Site for Prison Ladies

I won’t back down on this one Julie. Women have been giving men shit over this issue for years when the whole time it has ben their own laziness that caused the problem.

If you can’t turn on the light then reach your hand down and feel the bowl and see if the seat is up or down. Come on now….this is EASY!

EEEEEwwwww~

You want me to feel the rim of a bowl that YOU have SPRAYED all over???????

Julie McCoy recently scribbled the following on their toilet (I mean blog)..Dating Site for Prison Ladies

Its either feel the rim or fel the seat. We pee all over both.

My girl card might be revoked for this, but I’m with fitz on this one. God let man create soap so we can wash yuckiness off of our hands. It is an already lost battle trying to get men to put the seat down. I’m just happy when my husband remembers to flush the toilet.

Danielle – If you ever get divorced please marry me. Any woman that realizes what a trivial matter the toilet seat is can be my bride.

Holy turn-by-turn Batman! I thought it was just me!

Dawn – it’s everyone!! Even Batman!