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Do You Have Any Useless Skills?

Useless SkillsToday at work I challenged two people to read any line from the Braveheart script and I would tell them the next line. I was not stumped once out of at least twenty attempts. I’m not proud. But it made me think about useless skills. I wonder how many other useless skills I have that I did not realize I had.

Do you have any useless skills? Please tell me about them because I want to know.

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  • charlotte sometimes

    This is lame as hell but…I can cry on command, shed real tears. Not a heck of a lot of use for that. Even worse, think about how is it that I know I can even do it. One day I woke up and said, “hey, let me see if I can cry for no reason.” ??

    I’m a loser.

  • Brian

    i can read blogs about a guy who likes typing random things and promoting the greatest cause ever — non douchebaggery

  • http://www.spillitnow.blogspot.com erika

    Skill or talent, I don’t really know…. but I can touch my tongue to my nose…

    erika recently scribbled the following on their toilet (I mean blog)..Happenings

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Charlotte – That is not lame. That is super useful. I wish I could cry on demand.

    Brian – Definitely the best skill ever! Teach others please.

    Erika – That’s a talent. I may need your phone number.

  • Joker

    Hrm. I think I have the unique ability to actually get away with shit. Example. I just graduated. (WHOOO) and there were like 4 or 5 different things that I *didn’t* do that I needed to do to graduate. And I didn’t do them.

    I know, I rule.

    Wait… this said Useless skills? Oh.

    Well yea, it fits.

  • http://www.datingwallofshame.blogspot.com juliemccoy

    I can tell you how old a bruise is by looking at it and what type of impact caused it – it used to be a helpful skill in my old job, now it’s just a useless bunch of knowledge……….

    Also, I have the big dipper in freckles on my arm – I know its not a skill, but it’s a useless oddity,

    juliemccoy recently scribbled the following on their toilet (I mean blog)..I am not a bum, I’m just a jerk~

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Joker – that’s definitely the most useful skill ever! Not useless but still I appreciate your comments. No thread is complete without some Julie and Joker love.

    Julie – Ummmm now THAT is useless and odd as hell. I love it.

  • Joker

    Julie – Does it apply to rashes too? Cuz I have this rash that’s been…. Oh wait. The internet is watching.

  • Jeff

    I can stick a pen, or any thing in that sort of shape, into my stomach and launch it a good 5 to 10 feet at least. I once shot a pen from the top bleacher, all the way to the gym floor at a basketball game.

  • http://www.datingwallofshame.blogspot.com juliemccoy

    Joker – I don’t do rashes – but take a picture of it and post it and we’ll get some opinions on what it is – I’m sure there are some dermatologists and/or communicable disease specialists that visit the site who would id it for you.

    Jeff – that’s impressive!

    juliemccoy recently scribbled the following on their toilet (I mean blog)..I am not a bum, I’m just a jerk~

  • http://www.icmbot.com Michael

    I can memorize a shuffled deck of cards in order if you give me 5 minutes with them.

    I win bets on occasion… but ultimately, the act of memorizing a deck of cards is useless in itself outside of entertainment purposes.

  • Cory

    Well, one time, a couple of friends and I were recording a demo for our band.. thing. And i was doing backup vocals for a song titled “The Railroad Song”. We played the track over, and I sounded identical to young Michael Jackson when Jackson 5 still existed. And I wasn’t even trying.

    That takes hella talent.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Michael – I think that skill is kinda useful. I can see financial potential!

    Cory – You too have a USEFUL talent. I would kill to sing like MJ in the early days. Well, I wouldn’t actually kill someone but I would maim someone or severely wound them.

  • KrysLee

    I can always tell when someone is lying, always. I call it useless because once I call someone out on it that’s usually the end of that conversation.. And any general interaction with that person.. So as you can imagine I just let people get away with lying a lot..

  • sabrina

    krystianne’s other useless skills include miming a motorcycle rider, temping as a hair services supervisor, and navigating a gold station wagon through the uncertain waters of the long island expressway.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    KrysLee – Tell me if I am lying. I have a 17 inch penis.

    Sabrina – I thought the L.I.E. was a road not a waterway?

  • Joker

    Julie – Alright. And also, no doubt there’s someone on this website with some form of incurable disease that can help me.

    KrysLee – That is *very* useful. Can you tell me if my girlfriend was lying to me yesterday?

    Fitz and Sabrina – You damned east-coasters. No one wants to hear about your shitty roads.

  • Tom

    I can make fart noises with my eye. Beat that. I dare you.

  • http://www.toiletscribble.com fitz

    Tom – If you can prove it I will blog naked for a week. I’m not saying you WANT me to blog naked I’m just saying I’ll do it

  • Penis?

    Is being able to speak pig Latin fluently talented? My greatest useless talent is I can type(not that fast) with my keyboard flipped around so instead if it being like asdfghjkl its like lkjhgfdsa. Its more of an entertaining skill I guess…

    Wow, you people have way too much time on your hands…

  • Aaron

    I can complete expert minesweeper in 40 seconds. somewhat useless but entertaining to people that can’t beat easy level.

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